As I Stand (Er Sit) Here.

I have come to reflect a lot of things that have happened in my life and realized they have all happened for a reason. For one thing or another. I can not complain about these things but I have learned a lot from the things that have happened in my life. Not seeing some family for 10+ years was a big wake up call to see how much everyone's life has changed in that time period. Its hard to believe how much people can change and on the same hand no change in the same reality. I come to realize I have a lot of anger, hatred, sorrow and so many other feeling bottled up inside that I am afraid of releasing them to see how much of it I can handle. But instead I do the worst thing I have been told and that is to keep it all bottled up. Oh well. It's a problem that is going to haunt me for a long time it seems, at least until I get help. If I ever do. Is it worth it to get the help. I guess >_> but who knows. All I know is for right now at this very moment I am very happy with my life and where it has taken me. At least now I know I have more support from people I wouldn't have guessed I had it from.

Sorry.

I love you more then you care to believe or even care to know. I know I made a lot of mistakes and tend to do nothing right but if there is something I know it is that I love you. I always have and always will. I'm not leaving you and I have you to thank for a place to stay when my mom was being a stupid ass. I would like to get married someday but we can work thru this. I may not be over as much but still. I'll be over.

My Restart & A Note

I just want you to know I love you more then you know. I am a mess in life but I know your are the one who will always be there for me. No one ever has the way they you have been ever. I wish she was mine also and I am only doing this to find myself. It's nothing against you and I need to learn how to communicate my feelings together. But I wish I didn't make half the mistakes I have with you. I am just asking for you to keep loving me the way you do no matter what. I understand this can be a set back but it's also a move forward for me and you in the long run. I will still be with you. And I would like to get married someday provided we can afford it. I love you.

Love,
Jason Nakanishi.

P.S. I do miss you when you are gone. And I had a really good time last night. <3