1 Week.

This is going to be a rough week. I can already see how it's going to play out at least. I can do it but for you to say "and then maybe I can talk to you" just hurts. I understand where you are coming from and I'm not going to ask for you to understand. I'm not going to ask for it and I get where you are coming from.

Good News For Me.

Well I have plans in life no matter what happens to me now. Its all mapped out in my head and since nothing goes according to plan I am just going to wait and see how it all shakes out. I think its going to be a good time overall. ^_^

Today Is The Final Day....Before.....

Start of my week of vacation. Should be nice hopefully will be. Who knows all I do know is 4 days of class and I'll be having a couple beers at the least next week. That's one thing I am certain about. Couple deep breaths later and I feel slightly better about this next week coming up. No tards for a week. Should be good. Well on another positive note after this one I have about 4-5 more weeks until I get another weeks worth and then I'll hopefully be doing something for that vacation. Only time will tell though.

Great Week.

For once I had one of the better weeks I can have at least that I remember in recent memory. It was very very enjoyable. I had a lot of fun with some people I would have never dreamed of meeting in a long long time. All I can say to at least one of them is: thanks for the great times and memories. They will not be forgotten. To Marinsie if you're reading this: Happy Birthday. Its the least I can say after everything I have put you through. I have something for you but I am not sure when you'll be getting it or when I'll be seeing you. But to those I met this week thanks for the great times. For the one I really met. Thanks It was a wonderful week for me. And you also...At least from what you told me.

As I Stand (Er Sit) Here.

I have come to reflect a lot of things that have happened in my life and realized they have all happened for a reason. For one thing or another. I can not complain about these things but I have learned a lot from the things that have happened in my life. Not seeing some family for 10+ years was a big wake up call to see how much everyone's life has changed in that time period. Its hard to believe how much people can change and on the same hand no change in the same reality. I come to realize I have a lot of anger, hatred, sorrow and so many other feeling bottled up inside that I am afraid of releasing them to see how much of it I can handle. But instead I do the worst thing I have been told and that is to keep it all bottled up. Oh well. It's a problem that is going to haunt me for a long time it seems, at least until I get help. If I ever do. Is it worth it to get the help. I guess >_> but who knows. All I know is for right now at this very moment I am very happy with my life and where it has taken me. At least now I know I have more support from people I wouldn't have guessed I had it from.

Sorry.

I love you more then you care to believe or even care to know. I know I made a lot of mistakes and tend to do nothing right but if there is something I know it is that I love you. I always have and always will. I'm not leaving you and I have you to thank for a place to stay when my mom was being a stupid ass. I would like to get married someday but we can work thru this. I may not be over as much but still. I'll be over.

My Restart & A Note

I just want you to know I love you more then you know. I am a mess in life but I know your are the one who will always be there for me. No one ever has the way they you have been ever. I wish she was mine also and I am only doing this to find myself. It's nothing against you and I need to learn how to communicate my feelings together. But I wish I didn't make half the mistakes I have with you. I am just asking for you to keep loving me the way you do no matter what. I understand this can be a set back but it's also a move forward for me and you in the long run. I will still be with you. And I would like to get married someday provided we can afford it. I love you.

Love,
Jason Nakanishi.

P.S. I do miss you when you are gone. And I had a really good time last night. <3